Why the epic fails at my wedding were funny- not a disaster (1)

First of all, and the most important thing I’ve learnt: YOU know what is best for your wedding. YOU. NOT the you that’s been freaked out by the wedding industry, and convinced she needs to book a hair stylist, make up stylist, expensive dress, expensive rings, a wedding planner, a ballroom, a fancy 5 course dinner served on a golden platter by Chippendales (digressing, sorry).

Well, that might be the real you. If that’s the case, you might as well stop reading, this article really isn’t for you. Thanks for stopping by though!

Now for the brides who happen to be budget-conscious, want to have a party, happy to be in love and not be too stressed but still want everything kind of really perfect, here’s some news. It can’t be perfect. It just can’t. I’m so sorry.

Because really, you don’t get to experience many of your own weddings -unless you want to do an Elizabeth Taylor. Which would mean you don’t need any advice from me because I only went through the motions once.

Bottom line? Most of us are complete first timers. What do we know? And many of us can’t afford to hire a professional to guide you through the process.

Information on how to do it and how to do it right and how to do it cheap and perfect is coming from all sides, aunties, mothers, forums, sites, shops, friends, tv, …  it’s EVERYWHERE. Google picks up a few of your search terms and voila, there you have the suggestions, all tailored to your needs. And your needs keep growing, while your budget stays the same…

People often ask me: “Why do normal girls turn into bridezillas when they’re getting married?” There’s always that one granny who chirps in: “In my day, brides didn’t make such a big deal about our wedding. You girls just make too much fuss. I wore a nice blue frock and went to the church and that was the end of it. You’re all drama queens.” (true quote, by the way. Still ❤ you, granny.)

They’re drama queens BECAUSE  they’re in the middle of a freaking snowstorm without realizing it. And btw, I would love to see how granny would have reacted to a wedding with internet access.. Methinks THAT’s when you would really see a drama queen arise :-D)

Think about this. Do you expect someone who’s never driven a car to just jump in and start parallel parking? (I’m still having trouble with that one but that’s a different issue)

Do you expect someone who never even set foot in a kitchen to whip up a croquembouche? (Yum)

Do you think a first grader should just skip the Jack and Jill went up the hill- thing and go straight for Tennyson?


So why do brides expect to be able to pull off a perfect wedding the first time they try? Stop wishing for a perfect wedding and opt for a real one instead. I guarantee you will have more fun on a real one. Because then, things that go wrong are FUNNY instead of CATASTROPHES HERE TO RUIN YOUR ONE SPECIAL DAY.

And people who make mistakes are just people who make mistakes instead of A-HOLES THAT I WILL HUNT DOWN AND POISON WITH CHANEL N5 AS SOON AS THE CAMERAS STOP FLASHING.

Next time: some useful tips on having a DIY-budget-super fun wedding! (and of course, some fails! I’ve got plenty of those to go around :-P)


7 thoughts on “Why the epic fails at my wedding were funny- not a disaster (1)”

        1. and he should really be the most important aspect- most brides I know even told me they don’t remember a thing about the wedding because they were trying so much to get everything perfect- such a waste. and you’re right, France is an amazing country to get married in, but you have to have lived there for at least 40 days prior to the wedding…


          1. Yes you are right, and the paperwork required would even kill off a bridezilla – or you can have a little reg office legal thingy just before coming out, and then come and have a little ceremony however you like and a great party!
            Ps, looking forward to hearing more about your fun and disastrous wedding!

            Liked by 1 person

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